LOVE

L’Amour L’Amour  a very powerful emotion that transforms the heart from  a muscular organ to a powerhouse of warmth and care.  What does love mean to you? Do you love yourself?  Not in a selfish way but in a way that makes you self- aware by reflecting your inner you. I honestly believe that to truly love another one must first love ones self .

C.S. Lewis  in his book The  four loves classified love as:

·         Storge – affection: fondness through familiarity especially within family

·         Philia – friendship : Love between friends

·         Eros – Romance: Love in the sense of being in love or loving somebody

·         Agape love – Unconditional love: love that brings forth care regardless of circumstance as that of God for man.

Affection, friendship and romance are unique and separate forms of love that feed into different aspects of your life. People tend to blur the lines  and this sometimes has dire consequences. Do you blur the lines? Friends can become lovers but can lovers remain friends after they’ve stopped loving romantically? Can you truly stay close friends with someone who has stopped loving you in a romantic way without any feeling of nostalgia or remorse? If yes, then congratulations you indeed are an evolved soul.

Remember, when it comes to your expectations of love, that it is indeed a two way street. Open and honest communication is essential. Express your love as best as you can but do bear in mind that there are no guarantees. To love and be loved is an amazing feeling, It adds splashes of colour to your life and helps you dream in colour .

“Where there is love there is life”.

-Mahatma Gandhi

 

FORGIVENESS

'' To err is human; to forgive  divine''   A famous quote by the English poet Alexander Pope. These  seven words  hold so much meaning. How often have you felt wronged and how long have you  held  a grudge(s). It is important to remember that you most likely have wronged someone knowingly or unknowingly. And, a person(s) may also hold a grudge against you.

As humans we have our 'flaws' and although we may strive for perfection are in no way 'perfect'. What we are though is unique and what we have are intricate relationships in our lives some of which hold more meaning for us than others.

When you wrong someone knowingly  it is spiteful and is a tell tale sign that you are  bitter and unhappy . It also tells how 'evolved/ unevolved' you are in terms of your character.  More often that not it does have a boomerang effect and wouldn't  end well for you. It may feel like you've 'won' but trust me the feeling is fleeting. If you hold a grudge against someone you give them a hold over you.
Take back the power, walk away ,physically or figuratively. When you  'err'  do not hesitate to ask for forgiveness, make it right!

FORGIVENESS
1) No one is perfect
2)  Hurting someone knowingly is spiteful and will have a boomerang effect
3) Ask for forgiveness and make it right
4) Try not to hold a grudge it will only make you bitter
5) Take back the power walk away.

FELICITY

FELICITY  meaning HAPPINESS derived from the Latin word...Felicitas.

What is happiness?
Is it a state of mind, a moment ? or both? What is it's source? How can we make it last? In what way does it differ from joy?
Do we rely on people to make us happy or should that be our responsibility?

For me I find that I am most happy when I achieve a set goal. Someone may describe that as fulfilment. It could be that one leads to the other .I think it's different routes for different people.
As for the source of happiness, it changes with time. There was a time I found myself to be most happy taking a vacation, or going on a shopping spree and now it's watching my dreams come true.

If I had to describe a picture perfect moment depicting happiness, I would say it is the sound of  the unadulterated laughter of a child. What is YOUR  picture perfect moment depicting happiness????


HAPPINESS

1)It is  a choice

2)You should be responsible for your happiness

3) Its  source (s) change with time

4) It is different routes for different people

5) Most importantly it should be shared

GRIEF

Derived from the latin word 'gravis'.   Grief describes our response to loss as humans. It could the loss of someone or something very dear to us. The Kübler-Ross model identify's the stages of grief as ' denial', 'anger', 'bargaining', 'depression' and 'acceptance'.
Personally my experience of grief was a multi-faceted one. It was for the loss of my father. First came 'bargaining' , 'denial',  'depression',  'anger' then finally 'acceptance'.
I felt an overwhelming sense of hopelessness which stemmed mostly from the realisation I was never going to see him again.

As humans we form bonds with other people or things and suffer when these bonds are 'severed' particularly when it is permanent as is the case with death. I have come to accept that time does indeed 'heal' all wounds. There may be some scarring which serves as a reminder but the pain does diminish with time just as a physical wound.

It is OK to cry when you hurt, cherish the memories you have of them and through the tears never forget LIFE IS A GIFT, each new dawn is brimming with opportunities find them and make them YOURS.

 GRIEF

1)No one can bear it for you

2) Allow yourself feel the hurt but do not try to hurt yourself or others

3) Accept condolences but do not wallow in self pity

4) The manner and length of time you choose to grieve is personal

5) Establish your boundaries ,do not alienate people who offer you support

6) Do not feel guilty when you begin to heal

7)Cherish the memories  you've shared

8) Empathise with others who grieve

EXPECTATION

'Expectation'  derived from the Latin word expectationem, meaning "an awaiting''. We all have expectations concerning  life, people and ourselves . Although expectations do vary from person to person it is wise to examine their basis. To have an in depth understanding in order to ask the all important question WHY?  It is very easy to develop a 'blind spot' when you forget about the WHY? A 'blind spot'  can cause us to become  '' complacent'' and/ or  ''selfish'' neither of which will have a  positive effect on our lives.

With ourselves we should always be aware of our  boundaries, of course, we have  the choice to push past them but it is necessary that we acknowledge them.
With others,  realise that everyone has free will respect this
With life, know that there are no guarantees  and any thing is possible.

DO  look forward to the future . DO NOT forget to live in the present.   DO learn from the past.


10 STEPS WITH EXPECTATIONS

1)  Have them

2) Examine their basis

3) Ask WHY?

4) Acknowledge your boundaries

5) Respect the free will of others

6) Realise that in life there are no guarantees

7) Anything is possible

8)Learn from the past

9) Live in the present

10) Look forward to the future

BRINGING ON YOUR SEXY

Is sex appeal an 'in-born' trait or can  it be cultivated? Should it be at parallels with 'good taste'? Or can it be pulled off with class and sophistication?
I personally think sophistication, class and sex appeal can indeed go together. Nudity needn't be the precursor of being sexy. On the contrary I think it's best to keep a bit of mystery .... A game of filling in the gaps.

 What I consider to be most important is the  feel good factor that it should bring . With sex appeal there should be no feeling of guilt or awkwardness.
We all have our different favourite things that bring on our sexy. It could be a perfectly made up face, that special outfit, lingerie,  some time at the spa, well manicured hands and pedicured feet or maybe that alluring fragrance.


Do find out what brings on your sexy. If you don't know, do take the time and find out  and even if you do know a little exploration wouldn't hurt , discover new ' hidden treasures'.
Do go on, bring on your sexy today!!!

BRINGING ON YOUR SEXY

1) Love yourself obvious?

2) Admire your naked reflection in the mirror at least once a week

3)Smile not just with your lips but your eyes as well

4) Dress always first for yourself

5)Learn how to accept compliments as well as pay  them

6)Always maintain eye contact when you speak to people

7)Express yourself freely

8)Do keep in mind 'pleasure' should be guilt free

9) Nudity is not the synonym for sexy

10) Turning  heads is certainly not a crime.

CONFIDENCE

CONFIDENCE

Confidence ... When is one said to be confident? How can one tell the difference between confidence and arrogance?
Is confidence the absence of fear? Or simply mastering how to banish one’s self doubt. I always considered myself to be confident until I encountered grief. I began to question myself, and self-doubt began to creep in.
It was all new territory for me. All the things I considered important didn't seem to matter anymore.

I forgot how to smile with my eyes. Everyday routines seemed cumbersome. I left home bare faced without the slightest touch of makeup not even lip gloss. I've always been an advocate of looking good = feeling good.
I consider confidence to be an armour. An armour made from a knowledge of self-worth, being able to dare, acknowledging that disappointments are indeed blessings in disguise and falling isn't failure but making the choice to stay down is.

 

Pick yourself up, assess the situation and always tell yourself the truth. Stay POSITIVE no dream is too big, but do not just talk the talk walk the walk also. Do not let ANYONE determine for you what is achievable and what is not. Define what REALITY is to you and think outside the box. Having an open mind is a trait of a GENIUS. So go on and let your inner genius SHINE.

Die dulci fruere………….  ‘Have a nice day’

 

 

 

10 STEPS TO CONFIDENCE

1 Take the time to know who you are it is a life long process so  be patient

2 Do not be afraid to say the word NO.

3 Do bear in mind you can never please everyone

4 Do not let fear of 'failure' stop you from taking action unless it will be harmful to you or others.

5  When things don't go as planned do find out why learn the lesson and move on.

6 Be aware of your space

7 Treat yourself and others with respect

8 Live from the 'INSIDE out' Influence your environment more than it influences you.

9 Be open to change

10 Always keep an open mind.

Die dulci fruere………….  ‘Have a nice day’

 

Interested in finding out more contact me

Email: lilianikiriko@gmail.com

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